talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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