sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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