M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
there is glitter all over my balls
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