we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize