I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
