Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
