addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
