Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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