Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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