that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize