i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
