I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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