I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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