No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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