The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
