Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
