I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
