would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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