Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
