you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize