so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
