This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize