i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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