so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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