What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
