Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
