just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Of course I have a pirate flag
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
