This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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