i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
