I puked a lego.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
