i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
