He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
