I think i sorta joined a cult last night
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
