i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
