Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
this hospital has no fireball
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
