think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
