i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
