come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
