youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The power of my boobs compel you
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
