apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
