The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
