Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
