Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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