Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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