The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
