so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
