i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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