I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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