well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
