wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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