What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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