K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
wakey wakey hands off snakey
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
