the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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