Your dad touched me again.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
