home. puking in laundry basket.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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