addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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