I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
