If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
