Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
