I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
