did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
