you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
